


And in another life I would make you stay

by littlemisssunshiiine



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer, 5SOS
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2045160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisssunshiiine/pseuds/littlemisssunshiiine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is about growing up with Ashton, but also growing away from him. Him being busy with the band and you being busy making a life of your own. About him becoming a rock star and about you not wanting to admit you shouldn’t have let him go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And in another life I would make you stay

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't look through it for typos yet. But will do it soonish :D

Ashton Irwin had been my best friend in school, actually cross that, before school. His mum and my mum had known each other forever, Ashton was two years younger than me, but we always made it work anyway. He could be mature with me and I could be immature with him. It was a great deal. Ashton knew me better than anyone else, and loved me like no one else.

Everything came naturally with Ashton and we had a lot of first times together, he was the first person beside family I loved, the first person I crushed on, the first person cried with over The Notebook, the first person I kissed, the first person who told me he loved me and the first person I trusted enough to sleep with. We did everything together, got drunk together, made pranks together, and just being together, so imagine my world when Ashton got the text from Michael. Everybody at our School knew about the three boys from Norwest Christian College who made covers of songs and put it on YouTube, so when Ashton told me about the text, I was so happy for him I knew he wanted to play music for the rest of his life. I remember him telling me all of the time that no matter what I would be right next to him through it all, that I was going to be with him all of the time, but soon he was of with the boys playing in the garage or making new songs and covers, while I was almost done with school, thinking about my own future and how to keep being a part of his life, but it just kept getting harder and harder. We texted as often as we could but the time wasn’t there like it used too. Before when we didn’t have time doing the day, we would see the other at evening time, but every time I went over to his house the boys were there too. I mean I loved them and I was happy for Ashton, but it hurt, I didn’t care about the kisses, but I needed his friendship. I mean we had known each other since forever. One day a week before my birthday I went over to his house just wanting to hang out, I was a bit down because of my parents fighting, I came over to the door and his mother opened up.

“Hello honey, he is in his room, taking a nap.”

“Oh, okay, I’ll be quiet.” I smiled at her. If he was taking a nap, he was alone and we could have some alone time. Just like before. I went up to his room, and found him in bed. I looked at him and smiled, God I had missed him. I crawled up next to him and put my arms around him. I felt him move and when I looked up he was looking at me.

“Y/N, what a pleasant surprise, it has been a while babe.” He whispered and kissed my forehead.

“I know Ashton. I have missed you.” I whispered back.

“Yeah I have missed you too. I’m sorry I never have time for you anymore.”

“It’s fine babe, I’m busy too. So we will be okay.” I really thought we would be okay. The rest of the day we spent next to each other, just being friends like we used too. We agreed on making more room for each other and decided to spend the next day together too. The weeks went by and we spent a lot of time together, I had almost forgot about his band, until one day when I went over to him after work and knocked, his mother answered yet again.

“Y/N, you’re here too late. The boys just left for their show in Sydney.”

“Show? What show?” I was so confused; me and Ashton had made these plans two weeks ago we were going to see a movie that had just had premiere.

“They are playing a show tonight for a big crowd and after they are going in to record an EP. He will first be home in a week. Haven’t he told you this?”

“No he hasn’t. But it’s fine it must have slipped his mind. I mean he has a lot on his plate right now. I’ll go then. Bye Anne-Marie.”

“I’m sorry sweetie. I’ll get him to call you when I talk to him later.” She smiled sadly to me. I walked home. When I come home I went on the computer, I logged on Twitter and made a tweets about this without saying his name, for the first time in 17 years Ashton had made me cry. I went to his twitter and he had written a lot of tweets today about doing the show. I could see that the band was getting more and more popular and there I was in my room with a dream of him and I. it broke my heart knowing that he had that easily forgotten about our plans, all it took was one text saying “Hi! I’m sorry baby, but I have to cancel, I had forgotten about this show we were having today.” I felt a sleep thinking about the drift between us, he had promised me forever, and here I was alone with myself. I had always shown him support; I would have come to the show if he had told me about it.

When I woke up the next day I looked at my phone not a single text. So I called my best friend and she told me about her plans today about going to the beach with the gang. I asked if I could come. An hour later she picked me up and we went to the beach. Every day for the next week I spent all of my time with my other friends, I missed Ashton but he hadn’t answered any of my text the first day so I didn’t write to him again. Exactly 7 days after the concert I was going to a party with my best friend and the rest of the gang, she was picking me up and when I was ready I went outside wanting some time to clear my head and enjoying the breeze that was there that night. I looked over at Ashton’s house seen Ashton’s car and the boys taking the instruments out of it. I couldn’t see Ashton and soon my friend was here. I went inside the car and we drove off. When we drove past Ashton’s car he looked at me and waved, I gave him a nod, I was so mad at him. I wouldn't just forgive him for this. When we reached the party I started drinking and didn’t stop before I was completely pissed. I wanted to go home but my friend wasn’t ready, my parents were out with some friends, so I had no one to call but Ashton, I wasn’t ready to talk with him, so I decided to walk home. I started walking and felt somebody pull up next to me, I looked it was Michael Clifford.

“Y/N? you want a lift? I’m going over to Ashton to watch some movies with the rest of the boys, he is a bit sad but won’t tell us why. Do you wanna come?” He hadn’t figured out I was drunk.

“No it’s fine Michael, I just wanna wa----“ I tripped, of fucking course I did. Michael stopped the car and jumped out.

“Are you okay?”  He said.

“Of course I am.” I wasn’t my foot hurt like hell. I tried to get up, but fell down again.

“Goddamnit! These stupid heels.” He laughed at me.

“Are you drunk Y/N?”

“No I’m not, please help me up so I can walk home.” I put my hands up and he started pulling me up, I tried setting my foot down but it hurt too much.

“Fuck it hurts!” I said or actually I yelled.

“Let me help you in the car, you have to get your foot checked.”

 “No just take me home.” I felt tears in my eyes. He started driving towards my house.

“Why are you out drinking to night then? I thought you would be waiting for Ashton, but when we came home you left without looking at him.” Hearing his name made me sad, what can I say the alcohol didn’t help and suddenly I was crying.

“He didn’t tell me about the show.” I sobbed. I couldn’t stop the tears.

“He didn’t tell you? That is weird, he wanted to break the news to you, he was so excited and you were the first one he said he had told.”

“Well he didn’t. And I couldn’t care less. I don’t care. I’m done with him.” I said with more tears in my eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna see him?”

“Yes Michael, take me home.”

When we reached my house, my foot still hurt and I asked if he could help me upstairs. When I was in bed he started to go.

“Please stay Michael, I don’t wanna be alone. I just wanna be with somebody.” I wanted to be with Ashton I knew that, but Michael didn’t

“Sure. Let me just text the boys that something came up.” We sat in silence for a while, I’m sure Michael was almost sleeping when I whispered.

“I want him so much and I’m afraid he will forget me as soon as you guys get big. I can’t deal with him breaking my heart. I love him and want him more than anything. But I want him to be happy. So therefor I’m letting go now. I will miss him and I will support him, but I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me about the concert, maybe I am not that important in his lift anymore.” While saying this I cried again.

“He will not forget you; he loves you more than anyone else. If you told him to quit the band he would do it in a heartbeat.”

“I’ll never tell him to quit the band.”

This was the last long conversation I had with Michael. When I woke up, he was gone with the note that said “Call him.” I didn’t instead I watched him and his band getting a lot of success. It was hard at first, every time something happened it my life, normally I would tell Ashton as the first person, but even if I decided to talk with him, he didn’t live in Australia anymore. He had moved to London and was only home visiting his family when something special came up. It was weird looking over at a house I used to spend every other day in and not going over there to check up on him and his family. I mean I knew what happened in his life, my mum and dad kept telling me, because they talked with Anne-Marie, and it wasn’t like I ignored her either, I talked with her and his siblings if I met them and we just didn’t talk about Ashton. I think everybody knew he had broken my heart and I had broken his, or that is what I used to tell myself. He had moved on, one day on twitter a fan asked if he was seeing someone and he answered with “My heart has been taking by someone a long time ago.” That tweet broke me, I cried for hours, I mean I knew I had lost him, but what if I had dealt with his fame in a different way, would I be the one who had taken his heart. From that day I decided to write Ashton out of my life, if people asked I would answer short and not tell anyone new that I had grown up next to him.

I couldn’t keep him completely out of my life, everybody talked about him in our city, so I decided to travel the world, I just needed to know where he was and go a different way. Therefor I moved to Chicago, my mum and dad hated it, but I was finally happy, I was a completely different person, and I didn’t need to do anything, I was no longer the girl Ashton Irwin left behind and forgot about. I was Y/N a strong woman who worked to help animals in need. I was working for a company in Chicago that sent me around the world to save animals and see if I could find them a home. Through my work I met David. Sweet, caring and loving David, who always listened. I knew in my heart that I would never love him, like I loved Ashton, I mean I had known Ashton since I was a baby and I knew that he was my soul mate, but David was there for me and never went one day without showing he loved me. We were happy and in love so we moved in together and soon a baby were on its way. But like most young people a baby didn’t make our life together easy, he still wanted to party and have fun, I needed him at home because I didn’t wanna stay home every day, but at the same time I didn’t wanna be with him. When I was a teen my life in my dreams where different, I always wanted kids, but getting kids with David wasn’t a good thing, so one day I packed Aidan and my our stuff and when David came home, I gave him a kissed and said

“This isn’t working. We both know it in our heart.”

“I know babe, we were never meant to be, but you made me happy, so thank you for making me a better man and seeing what life has to offer, we will make it work with Aidan.”

“I will always love you David, but it’s time for this to end; on good terms.” I couldn’t keep the tears away, his sweet and caring words till the end; here I was leaving him and all his said was;

“I know honey. I hope for you that the person who broke your heart when you were younger knows what he lost that day. You are truly amazing and are a wonderful woman. Who needs to be loved! Maybe you should give him a second chance, because you will never be whole without him.”

I couldn’t stop crying, I wished that my heart could have loved David like he loved me and like I loved Ashton.

“I’m sorry David, I never meant to hurt you, but my heart belongs to someone who isn’t mine anymore.”

“You never hurt me, I knew from the day I told you I loved you and your eyes didn’t light up that your heart belonged to someone already, so don’t you worry baby. Go home and find out what you want. You can always call me.”

With that we parted. We have a great friendship today and he often visits Aidan and me. I went home, my family was happy, my work not so much, but my boss knew I missed my family so he helped me find a similar job in Sydney. 

It went super well and my life was finally in order. Or I still missed the best part of my childhood but he had been gone for around 5 years now. I spent most of my time being with Aidan and my family. Every year since I was little we had Sunday BBQ in the summer and this year was no exception. 

 

When we stopped outside the house I helped Aidan out and started walking up to the door, but could help but look over at the other side of the street seeing a house I had spent just as much time in as the one I had lived in. It had been my second home. It had been the place where my best friend always were. I felt a pain in my stomach and I knew I missed him, I kept telling myself that it was time to forget him again, just because I was back in Australia things weren’t the same between me and Ashton. I hadn’t seen him in many years and it was for the best.  

Aidan pulled my hand excited to see his cousins and the rest of the family, I smiled at him, we walked inside and saw all of my siblings, Adian and I went around to everybody saying hello, in the middle of the garden there was a lady I would recognize no matter what. Ashton’s mum. I looked at her and smiled, she smiled back and waved.

“Mummy? Who is that lady that just waved? She isn’t here normally?”

“She is the mother of my old best friend.”

“Is your old best friend here too? I wanna meet your friends like you meet mine?”

“I don’t think he is here, Aidan. He doesn’t have a normal job.”

“Is he a pirate?” He said hopefully, he watches too much Jack and the pirates.

“No he isn’t a pirate honey, he is in a band.” I said while laughing.

“A band? That is not cool. I’m gonna go out a play now.”

“Sure baby.” I smiled at him, he started running, but came back and made a kissy face, I gave him a kiss.

“Love you mummy.”

“Love you too honey. Have fun.”

“I will. Later you can tell me about your friend who doesn’t have a cool job.”

I laughed and nodded. I would tell him everything I knew about Ashton Irwin. Just the thought of him made me smile I knew in my heart that I still loved him and that I would never stop missing him.

“Hello Y/N, when have you come back to Australia?” Ashton's mum said. 

“I have been back for 9 months.”

“Oh. Is it your son?”

“Yes, he is mine. I had him 3 years ago.”

“So you were 22, right? Is your husband here too?”

“No we were never married and are not together anymore.”

“Oh I am sorry to hear that. I’ll catch up with you later love. You mother needs help I can see.” I just smiled at her. Talking with her, had made me realize just how stupid I had been for letting him go back then. I looked around at the happy families and decided to walk away for a while I looked for my dad and said.

“Dad I will be back in a bit I just need space, everything reminds me of you know.”

“Okay honey, take your time. I’ll look out for Aidan.” He said and kissed my forehead.

I walked away from my family and went over to his house, knowing I could find peace over there, and having his mum and siblings over in my parents garden  made me realize I could be there alone for a while just looking at the garden where we had shared a lot of secrets together.

I started thinking back about everything and soon I was crying. I remember everything, every secret, every hidden smile, every; I love you, our first kiss, the first time he told me he loved me and the first time I knew I would love him forever. With every memory my tears felt faster and faster.

A voice brought me back to the present

“Y/N? I thought that was you that walked over.” I was in shock and just looked at him.

“Ashton? Is it really you?” I said walking closer to him, he opened his arms out and I walked into them and hugged him tight. He hugged me tighter. We kept hugging for a while; I pulled back, looking up at him, straight in the eyes. He dried my tears away with his finger.

“Wow the last 5 years has done wonders on you. You look amazing! You always did, but today you are such a beautiful woman” he whispered and I blushed. I had missed his voice so much.

“How is the rock star life?”

“Fine, but I’m missing a piece and have been missing it for many years.” He looked at me and put his arms out; and I hugged him again.

“I have missed you too Ashton.” I said and hugged him again. He kissed my forehead.

“Everything I had to describe my dream girl, it was you who pop into my head. I have never had a day without thinking about you babygirl.”

“But I thought you moved on. What about the girl you wrote about on twitter.” I said looking at him confused.

“It was you. You have had my heart since as long as I can remember. It hurt me so much when you were suddenly gone, but I thought it was what you wanted therefor I never called you or texted.”

“I wanted you so much; I had to let you go Ashton, because I couldn’t share you with the world. But I regret every day that I let you go without giving you a chance to show me what we could have been.”

He kissed me and I kissed back. It felt like our first kiss all over again and I finally felt the butterflies I had missed when I was with David.

“Can we try again then Y/N?”

“Always, I wanna be with you forever.” I said and kissed him again.

“Good. Do you wanna head back to the BBQ?”

“Where you there when I talked to your mum?” I asked.

“Yeah, I was talking with you nephew, but when I saw you walk away I was right behind you.”

“Goofball, you should just have said something to me.” I laughed.

“I was afraid of you reaction. I mean we have seen each other in 5 years, and what if you still hated me.” He said.

“I never hated you Ashy. I was just afraid of losing you, so I pulled myself away.”

We walked back hand in hand. And Aidan ran over to me as soon as he saw me.

“Mum! Look at this awesome thing cousin Andrew has!” when he saw Ashton he continued.

“Is that your friend with the boring job?” I laughed but Ashton didn’t

“Boring Job? I’m a rock star kid!”

“Boring, my mum is saving animals.” He said proud.

“Oh is she? That was always her dream.” He said and smiled at Aidan.

“Hello kid, I’m Ashton.”

Hi Ashton. I’m Aidan. Are you my mums best friend?”

“Yeah I am. But can you keep a secret. I’m in love with her and have been for a while.”

“I think she is in love with you too. You make her smile bigger than anyone else.” Ashton smiled at him and looked at me.

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too Ashton.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments :)


End file.
